A month ago, I wrote a post about feeling like I would have to work really hard to keep going to the gym for yoga every day. And today I realized that I’ve switched over to the point where I have to force myself to stay at work instead of leaving and spending the day at the yoga studio. I’ve become a total yoga junkie. I really didn’t think I would come to look forward to it so hard! It’s been the highlight of my day lately, and it’s the only time during my day when I don’t feel horribly sick. I actually completely forget my sore throat and the pressure in my head, and I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger.
Today during my second class, the instructor, Ashley, talked about this beautiful image that really hit home for me, so I want to share it and write it down so that I can come back to it. This is going to have to be paraphrased, but here it is:
You know the feeling when you’re in the ocean and a huge wave crashes over you? It’s tempting to fight it and try to swim through it to the surface, but sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you struggle and swim you can come out to the surface. You start to panic. Finally finally finally you come up out of the water completely exhausted and you have to get out of the water and go recover, because you have salt water up your nose and that’s miserable (that part is my own). But after you’ve gone through that a couple of times, you figure out to relax, and just let the wave carry you. In a few seconds, it’s all over and you come out and breathe.
Life is the same way. When a wave crashes, you can fight it and fight it, but it’s going to rock you and terrify you and you’ll feel like you’re drowning. Or you can relax, and not fight it, but let the wave carry you. Yes, it is going to move you, and you won’t know where you’re going to end up. But you’ll come out faster and painlessly.
There have been waves in my life that I’ve been fighting for months, if not years. I am exhausted and I don’t have any resistance left. It is seriously time for me to trust that if I let the wave take me, I’ll come back up to the surface. I have to stop wasting time. I really want to make it to the surface.
I believe that the universe really know’s what’s up, and is doing everything right. I don’t know what works and what doesn’t better than that great awareness. I think that my whole life I’ve believed that fighting for what you want was the way to go, but maybe what I think I want isn’t what is the best thing. Or maybe I have things to learn before I can get those things. But for now, I am going to focus on relaxing, and letting the waves take me.
